Why Young Athletes Burn Out (Even at 12)

Burnout isn’t something that only happens to college or pro athletes. More and more, we’re seeing it in kids – sometimes as young as 10, 11, or 12. A child who once loved their sport suddenly dreads practice, complains of stomachaches before games, or wants to quit all together. Parents are often left worried and wondering: How can they be burned out already?

The answer is hardly ever laziness or lack of grit. Burnout is usually a sign that something in the system has become overwhelming for their developing brain and nervous system.

Burnout is Not About Weakness

Burnout happens when stress outweighs recovery for too long. For young athletes, whose brain and bodies are still developing, this balance is especially delicate. Kids don’t have the emotional regulation skills that adults rely on yet. They depend heavily on adults to create environments that feel safe, balanced, and supportive.

When that doesn’t happen, burnout can set in quietly and pretty quick.

Common Reasons Young Athletes Burn Out

Adult Pressure Outpaces Child Development: When performance, rankings, playing time, or future opportunities become the focus, kids may start to feel like their worth is tied to how well they play the game. Even subtle pressure – tone of voice, sideline reactions, post-game analysis – can feel pretty heavy to a child.

At 10-12, kids are still learning how to regulate emotions, how to handle failure, and how to separate effort from outcome. When adults put the emphasis on other things, kids internalize the message that their performance = their worth.

Kids may think:

I can’t mess up.

I don’t want to disappoint anyone.

I have to be perfect to play.

That level of pressure is exhausting for their developing brains.

Sport Become Identity: When a child is primarily known as “the athlete,” setbacks hit harder. Injuries, losses, or lowered playing time can feel like personal failures rather than a normal part of development.

When a kid hears:

“You’re the baseball kid.”

“This is your thing.”

“You can’t quit. You’re too talented.”

They lose permission to explore who they are outside of the sport. Fear of letting others down replaces enjoyment and anxiety replaces play. Kids need to know they are more than their sport.

Little Time for Rest or Play: Free play and rest aren’t extras – they are essential. When schedules are packed with practices, games, and training, kids lose the opportunity to reset their nervous system. Without adequate recovery time, both physical and emotional fatigue add up. This can create chronic stress, even when the child says they “love” the sport.

“Next Play” Culture Without Emotional Support: Being told to “move on” without processing mistakes teaches kids to suppress emotions rather than regulate them. Over time, unprocessed stress builds up in the nervous system, which leads to anxiety, irritability, and emotional shutdown.

Kids burn out when every moment becomes feedback: “fix this,” “don’t do that,” or you should’ve…” Even well-meaning instruction can turn the game into a performance evaluation instead of an experience. What looks like mental toughness on the outside can feel like constant pressure on the inside.

Fear of Failure Becomes the Primary Motivator: When mistakes bring on disappointment, silence on the car rides home, or emotional reactions from adults; kids learn that mistakes are dangerous. Playing scared drains a kid of confidence and joy real fast.

Signs of Burnout in Young Athletes

Burnout doesn’t always look dramatic. It can show up as:

Complaints of feeling tired or sick

Increased anxiety before practices or games

A sudden drop in effort

Emotional outbursts or withdrawal

Perfectionism or fear of making mistakes

Suddenly wanting to quit

Loss of confidence or joy

What Actually Helps Prevent Burnout

Emphasize effort and enjoyment over outcomes

Normalize mistakes and emotional reactions

Allow choice and autonomy whenever possible

Build in rest, off-seasons, and unstructured play

Model calm responses to wins and losses

Check in emotionally, not just athletically

The Bottom Line

Kids don’t quit sports – they quit pressure.

If your 12-year-old is burned out, it doesn’t mean you’ve failed – and it doesn’t mean they’re done with sports forever. It means their system is asking for balance, safety, and support.

When kids feel emotionally safe, connected, and allowed to be human, passion has room to return. Their mental health will matter long after the final whistle is blown.

Phone: 309-323-0207

Email: cami@camilerminezllc.com

Facebook: Cami Lerminez, LLC www.camilerminezllc.com